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How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk

CVB: Why did you choose to write a book about listening to your kids? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? (laughs)

Becky Harling: Well, bear in mind, you write to your deepest needs. (laughs) I am a Christian communicator, so I talk a lot, which carries over into my parenting journey. As parents, we are always telling our kids, “Brush your teeth, make your bed, do your homework, blah, blah, blah.” There were two pivotal moments in my parenting journey. One of them was when my one daughter, Steph, was four years old and she was a negotiator. I remember one day falling on my knees before the Lord saying, “I can’t do this, because I’m messing her up! Everything is an argument.”

The Lord showed me that I really needed to give Steph a voice. I remember thinking, “I’m pretty sure she has a voice!” But the Lord wanted me to shape her voice and not silence it. So I began changing my parenting style and really began focusing on connecting with my kids and trying to listen to them more than just telling them what to do.

I wrote a book several years ago called How to Listen So People Will Talk. My publisher came to me after that book and they said, “Hey, how about one for parents with kids?” So then I wrote this book.

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